I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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