My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
