I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
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eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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