The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Enjoy the penises
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
