Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
