You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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