just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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