She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
