First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
