Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
