This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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