would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
