my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
