i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
