grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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