She's JV to your varsity
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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