I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My underwear smells like fireworks.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
