I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
