Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize