apparently the secret to your success is patron
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize