I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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