Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
