She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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