i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
