I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
