tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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