Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize