dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize