I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
