she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
