i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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