if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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