ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
