piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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