my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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