remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
