and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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