singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
