Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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