No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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