I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
