I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
