I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
