my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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