just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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