Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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