Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
