I think im going to throw up on grandma
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
