The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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