I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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