So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
