lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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