Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
