is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
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It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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