Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
