It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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