you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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