And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
