wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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