god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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