I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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