Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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