btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
